Can you spot them all?
It is summer and thus also the time to travel the world and experience its diversity. Taste of foreign food, see impressive buildings, feel the sun and the cool water. But note this year extra attention to the other travelers you meet.
No matter where you go on your vacation, there will be tourists in droves. You can be annoyed by it, but try instead to turn it into something positive: How many of these seven types you can find on your summer vacation? Print this list out and mark every time you run into one of them. And suddenly your trip to Nice turned into tourist safari. Enjoy.
The good thing about the Dutch is that they mark all the places you do not wanna be: They get up early to tweak the best sun loungers by the pool (most like to marked with a towel), they occupy seats in restaurants with white plastic chairs and fish fillet with French fries, drinking great beer on tack}’ bars opposite the Coliseum, the Eiffel Tower and the Statue of Liberty and hang out at campsites. So, if you see a Dutchman, you know immediately that whatever they are doing, it is not for you. Turn around, but send first of all thanks to these flabby peoples that make for a better holiday for us by acting minesweepers. Danke!
The Newly Rich Russian
Give a child a hundred crowns to pick & mix candy, and watch it go into overdrive. Give a man who since the October Revolution has not had a red ruble, billions, and then you have the nouveau riche Russian. We’re talking tours of two helicopters (one for him, one for his Barbie-wife), gold chains as in “Mujaffa- game” and arm movements as big as Red Square. Like the child in the candy store, the newly rich Russians like to have it all and one for himself, which means that they often end up in a shouting contest with others of the same species. Bonus Info: The new “Little Mermaid” at the car parks and cruise ships in Copenhagen harbor, which is significantly larger than the original and somewhat more bulging, is reportedly set up not to disappoint visitors Russians.
The Japanese Invasion
of the film the menu at a restaurant, they have not eaten at the filming random buildings, they follow over-Japanese guy with the flag and they stare out from the air-frozen buses with faces like chickens on the way to the slaughterhouse. But you can be sure that they think you are as strange and alien-like as you think they are. Japanese tourists have for generations been known to come in large groups, equipped with high-tech cameras and trained in yoga-like photographer posts and V-character poses. The trip to Europe has been a long and expensive affair for them, and must be documented digitally down to the smallest detail. I wonder how many Japanese home videos you are on without knowing it.
The Other Danes
They’ll like to be your friends, and when they are sweet and well meaning, it is extremely difficult to tell them that you do not want to eat with them every night and certainly did not bother hiring a rowing boat together. They think I have so much in common, but you find it difficult to name other than that they are from Jutland, and you are from Valby. They would also like to share tips and tricks with you, among other things, how much booze you can take home without having to pay customs, where to get the best suckling pig and which of the local cuisine, which most closely resembles what we have at home. It reminds of what we call meatballs, is often pronounced reversal.
Families With Children
These parents have decided that parenting should not go beyond their traveling life. Unfortunately, it is often beyond our others. Especially because these parents simultaneously have decided that their children are too mature and intellectually stimulated to Lalandia or Bonbonland and therefore like to drag them to the Louvre. It is regrettably rarely something the kids agree. Their children are also good for the children’s pool, so they splash around in the Jacuzzi. And then there’s also the there with the classic scream sessions on the plane, but it knows you are guaranteed in advance.
characteristics are barefoot, free-living hair and a necklace of seashells. You will see them buy large quantities of incense sticks and other things that you cannot get at home or keep large-flowered ponchos in front of themselves and ask their fellow travelers, if they cannot have it at home. They buy it no matter what, but deep down they know that their free lifestyle will die the minute they set foot in their home in Bronshoj and their life as a clerk in the medium-size manufacturing companies begin again. The incense sticks will burn one of, one day they are visited by some friends to see photos of their vacation on the edge of themselves.
With slogans like “OMG” “that’s awesome” and “’that’s like amazing” haunts these people the European continent in the summer. They have meticulously planned their Euro trip down to the smallest detail:
Denmark -1 day, Germany -1.5 days, Paris – 3 days, France – 0.5 days. If you go and you wonder who is buying the right there “I <3 London T-shirts”, it is the Americans who have been at stake. They have fun to experience the old world, as they originate from and therefore feel closely connected to, although better like that Paris is in Las Vegas and the Aristocats. The danger of the group will often carry rapid sunglasses, a couple of kilos too much, deathly pale legs, a tank top with stars & stripes and a tattoo with “Keep on Rocking in the Free World.”